So let's talk about writing. Let's talk about how it's something I think about doing often and yet never seem to accomplish. Let's be honest and say that I've actually started many drafts of something to say on this blog and yet find my thoughts too often too jumbled to make a coherent thought out of them and they shall stay reserved in this website until one day I become famous and like Dvorak find success with my earlier work after the later work is considered acceptable and appeasing to the public eye. (Who knows, maybe this draft will fall into that category of unfinished drafts for the thousands to analyze hundreds of years from now.) Let's talk about how no matter what I ever try to accomplish on this blog it never seems to work out. I think I have the perfect scenario to write something, and then it all falls apart. Let's talk about how I seem to hold myself to an unspoken standard for blogging that I invented. Let's talk about how that's probably a really bad sign of narcissism. Let's talk about how I spend way too much time thinking about a variety of different subjects, but never have the ability to bounce my ideas off of people in order to be able to refine them.
As you can see, we have a lot to discuss. But in light of all of this, the only things motivating me to continue to write at the moment is my shear desire to be original and witty. What? You say? I am a narcissist? Well so be it then. But only for the sake of this writing. The fact is I spend way too much time trying to find the perfect way of expressing exactly what I'm thinking only to become to flustered in my attempts to not be exactly like everyone else. So hopefully this will break the mold. Unlike some overly emotional posts that I've done in the past where I my soul is plein d'ennui and I find myself regretting everything I say simply because I'd been drinking and staying up too late. (For those of you desiring to have a depressing look at your soul just follow the formula found above and enjoy! Or rather, drink up!) So let's talk about these "emotions," shall we?
You see, there is far too much bullshit out there as a result of our emotions. And although satire has always existed in order to mock the norms that we seem to superimpose upon ourselves, we still find ourselves bound by them. Take church for example. Church is a great reflection of American society in particular. We all desire to attend a church where we believe that we are not only truly communing with God and worshiping Him in truth, but also where we can be honest with one another about our sins and find encouragement from our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Yet in reality, we show up every Sunday hoping to find something that doesn't exist through our emotions. Not willing to break out of the mold and be too expressive or emotional, or perhaps thinking that the mold will somehow change us. Well allow me to be so bold as to say that perhaps we've given far too much credence to these norms and molds and other Freudian theories that sadly seem to play too large of a role in our lives. Is it even possible anymore for someone to make a decision that isn't based on emotion?
Even what I'm saying right now. Is it really based off of anything but frustration and loneliness? Emotions that I'll freely admit I've given far too much attention to, particularly in the past few weeks. So let's talk about what's actually going on here. In a word, omphaloskepsis. What? Did my increasingly large and perhaps intimidating use of vocabulary get you all turned around? Well perhaps the German translation will help. Nabelschau. Literally translated both words mean looking at your navel. It's brilliant. Do you look at your navel often? Do you ever look down at your navel and wish it were an "inney" or perhaps an "outey"? Do you ever wish there weren't so much stuff around your navel because then it might actually "look cute" and that guy you've been thinking about might notice you? (I promise it's the only thing we men think about. Navels are vastly underrated and I don't think women worry about them enough.)
What I love so much about this antiquated term is that it defines our generation perfectly. Perhaps a more 21st century translation might be "having one's head up one's own ass." We're stuck up and completely self-absorbed. We've been looking at our navels for so long we've forgotten to look around at anyone else, but it's okay, because everyone else is wandering around doing exactly the same thing. I think my favorite part of this word is the vivid imagery that comes with it. Imagine you're on the subway and every single person around you is looking down at their belly buttons. It's priceless. But in reality, isn't that what's going on?
Even though our eyes aren't actually looking down at our belly buttons most of the day (usually just for an hour), we act as if there is nothing more important in the world. But is it really an act? Perhaps our belly buttons are really that important? And who's to say otherwise, huh? You're not the boss of me. You can't tell me what to do. Don't judge me. My belly button is a goddess. I've worked hard to make my belly button look this good!
You're right. It's your "belly button." But it doesn't belong to you. You might have worked hard to make your belly button the most attractive belly button in the world, with a very dashing piercing that accentuates only its best features, but you didn't earn it. It was given to you, as a gift. It was created by someone much smarter than you, and you act as if it's yours to run around with and poke holes in. Well allow me to burst your bubble and tell you that our lives are about much more than ourselves. What? You're not the boss of me. You can't tell me what to do. Don't judge me. My belly button is a goddess.
Right, I get it. Your belly button is beautiful, no matter what I say. Words can't bring you down. Kelly Clarkson and Pink will be sure to inspire us with more somehow increasingly unflattering language to make our belly buttons feel better. You gotta get up and try. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Blow me one last kiss. I will survive. It's raining men. Whatever. I don't really get it. All meant to "empower" us. To motivate us, as i'twere. Strangely, I don't think it's working. My belly button doesn't make me feel better. Sure it's always there with me, but then again, so is chest hair. And ain't nobody got time for that.
But I ramble. As usual. But isn't that just it? In that hour a day that we spend looking down at our own belly buttons we could be learning a new skill, gaining knowledge, or perhaps even, help another person. What? Blasphemy! My omphaloskepsis is crucial to who I am. Don't make me tell you my belly button is a goddess again!
Ok, fine. Please, just no more belly button goddess talk. I think the joke is sufficiently dead.
Agreed.
But here's my problem with myself, and with others I meet. We're so obsessed with trying to figure out what we're doing with our lives by looking in, that maybe, if we lifted our eyes and looked up for once, we might actually see what's going on. This is why having others in our lives is so critically important to leading lives of humility and service. Let me tell you something, as someone who speaks from experience. Living be yourself is not conducive to humility or service. Guess who you serve every day? Yourself. Whatever I think, is best, always. Why? Because there's no one around to tell me otherwise. Isn't that right, belly button?
My sister once told me that when you're single your life is one dimensional and that when you get married it becomes two dimensional and once children enter the picture via the stork it becomes three dimensional. (People always underestimate the stork...) Remarkably, however, instead of going from looking at our own belly buttons to looking at someone else, we simply suck them in to our perception of what we think our belly buttons should look like, as accessories. Such a lovely picture of marriage isn't it? Welcome to the 21st century!
We continue to live in one dimensional existences and hope that we might be able to work out a way to have two people with one dimensional perspectives last. And welcome again to the recurring problems of 21st century American society. Because if someone tells us to give up what we want, or my dreams, or what's best for me, then damn them! They speak a Gospel of lies and hatred.
Thank you Freud. I think your time on Earth was well spent ruining the lives of millions of people and making the possibility of dealing with rational individuals on a regular basis utterly impossible. On behalf of rational people everywhere, I say to you, "Read between the lines!" On behalf of those who try to promote the consumerism wins all mentality, I say, "Thank you for making our lives so much easier."
Do we not realize how easy we've made it for them? Allow me to put this in plain belly button terms for you to understand. "Call today, and we'll make your belly button look better than it ever has!" "You thought you were happy with your belly button, but that was before we introduced you to, the brand new technologically up to date super sexy amazing belly button!!!" "All of your belly button dreams can come true!"
In many respects, I'm so glad I don't work in advertising or marketing. I can't imagine trying to coerce millions of people to purchase something that they have lived without for their entire lives, and convince them that it is vital to their future happiness and contentment in life. It's only because we are so obsessed with ourselves that we give them this opportunity. It's just sad. Amazingly, somehow the idea of altruism still exists today. But even more sad, is that exists only as a means of suppressing guilt. How nice that even charity is a reflection of greed.
The fact is, there's only one hope to fix this problem. I'm going to get A NEW BELLY BUTTON!
Other witty conclusions include, kill Freud (notwithstanding the assumption of his death almost 75 years ago), as well as kill everyone.
But seriously, how are we supposed to exist in a culture that is so obsessed with themselves that they can't even take a moment out of their day to be considerate of an old lady crossing the street? Are our lives so petty and our emotional and psychological states so fragile that if someone looks at us the wrong way, we turn into passive aggressive monsters who were "bullied"? And that's why we aren't responsible for our actions?
I'm saddened to have to say these things. To have to try and make an attempt at an original and hopefully comedic metaphor out of belly buttons in order to get people's attention. I thank God, however, that He is in control. Belly buttons can be depressing. And although I'm not in a position where I understand what is going on because I'm still spending too much time looking at my own belly button, I'm grateful for His work in my life that has given me the ability to be able to even recognize some of these qualities and the consequences of them on our lives. I hope that this was enjoyable for you all to read, perhaps might encourage some thought, and hopefully not too much Nabelschau. Until next time, Cheers!
Friday, February 15, 2013
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
The Importance of Community and Interdependence.
Good morning all, I know it's been a while since I've wrote on here, somehow I feel like I should be writing more, even though I'm actually writing almost every day. I'm working on this really great devotional which for the moment shall remain nameless, simply because it's rather personal. However, the questions posed within this testament have challenged me greatly in the past few months as I've been working through it day after day, and this morning the question and importance of community was examined. Not community simply for community's sake, but for the sake of Christ. Living lives of interdependence towards the end goal of being united in harmony as members of the body of Christ who all live and work together for their common good and for the glory of Christ. Quite a lofty goal, isn't it? Doesn't sound like something on a daily basis most people pursue.
The subject is examined in light of the fact that the majority of most evangelicals in America view their responsibility towards their church and their fellow believers to be distant, at best. We are vastly independent in our faith and more often than not it turns into a Jesus + Me story. We don't look at the corporate aspect of our faith and when we do, it's extremely limited.
In light of these observations, a few more observations. First, this sort of radical independence is something that Evangelicals in America fall into quite naturally as proud independent Americans who embrace all notions of freedom in practically any capacity (whether we realize it or not), there are a number of American Evangelicals who have turned corporate worship into a solitary confinement where their place of worship is at their desk or kitchen table where they find the most meaning and comfort from God. Not that private devotion isn't important, good, and necessary, but it isn't ultimate. Ultimately, we are members of the Church and Christ came to die for His Bride, the Church of which we, as individuals are all members, however, the membership has requirements more than simply saying a little prayer to get you into heaven, and showing up to church on a daily basis and scattered other social functions with the church's name on it.
Second, as important as I find the element of community and corporate worship and living together to be, I want to be careful when referencing scripture concerning the matter. In practically every discussion I have ever had on the subject, no one passage of Scripture is quoted more than Acts 2. And for good reason. On the day of Pentecost after Christ had been resurrected the Holy Spirit came down as Christ promised He would, and was imparted to thousands of people who then began living lives of corporate worship together and sharing all things in common, etc. The picture is a beautiful one, and one that I think ought to be admired. However, I think the passage has been misconstrued far too often by either using the passage to defend a worldview of communism or worse a hippy lifestyle, or it is projected onto Evangelicals as the ideal and set up on a pedestal of where American Christians should be today. Both of these perspectives worry me because I've seen the repercussions of them vividly in my own Christian experience.
The image ends up being downplayed to elements of the human realm, when in reality, there has never been a greater moment in the history of mankind outside of the God-Man Jesus Christ being on the Earth. This occasion in Scripture is one of those incredible moments where the spiritual realm and the human realm are blended together and the result reflects its severity.
For us to try and recreate those 1st century believers I think is silly. Allow me an example to illustrate my point. Christ celebrated the Last Supper in an upper room in Jerusalem with the 12 disciples and said, "Do this in remembrance of me." For thousands of years, the church has received the Eucharist through a service at church where the significance and importance of the Eucharist is explained on a weekly basis. We don't limit receiving communion to being in a small room for twelve people at a specific time of year. We've taken the circumstances and used Scripture to re-enforce the best possible way to receive the elements that nourish our souls as Christ appointed them too. Nowhere in Acts do we see Luke saying, "worship together in this way."
I understand that I'm delving into a very large pool of subject matter on which much has been said, written, and understood by men and women far more intelligent and understanding than I, however, my point is this; we need to look at the passage in Acts 2 as a reference point of something that is good, but not something that is ultimate. Trying to recreate the Acts 2 church isn't going to solve your problems. However, living lives of communal worship and making habits of living daily for one another and dying to self at any cost, that will change your life and cause you to re-evaluate what problems you might have.
I think the American Evangelical church desires at its core to create a community of interdependent Christians, but is so consumed in its consumerism and blatant autonomy that it can't see how lost it is. Any time there is a discussion about the body of believers being more important than the individual I am always reminded that this is the perspective of the Catholic church. They teach this very heavily and as a result, those who properly understand the Catholic faith live lives that reflect this important truth and it becomes apparent to all who know them because the choices they make are interdependently oriented.
So how shall we then live? In light of all of this, I think it's important that we foster habits of selflessness. We need to become more aware of how truly selfish and prideful we are. Similarly, we need to be willing to be vulnerable with one another. If we can't trust other Christian brothers and sisters, then we can't trust anyone. (If you want a practical example of what that life looks like you need look no further than the devastation that exists within many of the communities in Brazil.) Removing our pride, becoming vulnerable to one another, and pursuing lives of service to one another, to the greater body of believers and non-believers, and in so doing, serving Christ, this is what ought to be ultimate in our lives.
These are ideas that have been mustering around in my head for quite a while, and I'd be very open to feedback and questions and observations that anyone might have. Thank you all for reading and I hope this was edifying and challenging to you.
The subject is examined in light of the fact that the majority of most evangelicals in America view their responsibility towards their church and their fellow believers to be distant, at best. We are vastly independent in our faith and more often than not it turns into a Jesus + Me story. We don't look at the corporate aspect of our faith and when we do, it's extremely limited.
In light of these observations, a few more observations. First, this sort of radical independence is something that Evangelicals in America fall into quite naturally as proud independent Americans who embrace all notions of freedom in practically any capacity (whether we realize it or not), there are a number of American Evangelicals who have turned corporate worship into a solitary confinement where their place of worship is at their desk or kitchen table where they find the most meaning and comfort from God. Not that private devotion isn't important, good, and necessary, but it isn't ultimate. Ultimately, we are members of the Church and Christ came to die for His Bride, the Church of which we, as individuals are all members, however, the membership has requirements more than simply saying a little prayer to get you into heaven, and showing up to church on a daily basis and scattered other social functions with the church's name on it.
Second, as important as I find the element of community and corporate worship and living together to be, I want to be careful when referencing scripture concerning the matter. In practically every discussion I have ever had on the subject, no one passage of Scripture is quoted more than Acts 2. And for good reason. On the day of Pentecost after Christ had been resurrected the Holy Spirit came down as Christ promised He would, and was imparted to thousands of people who then began living lives of corporate worship together and sharing all things in common, etc. The picture is a beautiful one, and one that I think ought to be admired. However, I think the passage has been misconstrued far too often by either using the passage to defend a worldview of communism or worse a hippy lifestyle, or it is projected onto Evangelicals as the ideal and set up on a pedestal of where American Christians should be today. Both of these perspectives worry me because I've seen the repercussions of them vividly in my own Christian experience.
The image ends up being downplayed to elements of the human realm, when in reality, there has never been a greater moment in the history of mankind outside of the God-Man Jesus Christ being on the Earth. This occasion in Scripture is one of those incredible moments where the spiritual realm and the human realm are blended together and the result reflects its severity.
For us to try and recreate those 1st century believers I think is silly. Allow me an example to illustrate my point. Christ celebrated the Last Supper in an upper room in Jerusalem with the 12 disciples and said, "Do this in remembrance of me." For thousands of years, the church has received the Eucharist through a service at church where the significance and importance of the Eucharist is explained on a weekly basis. We don't limit receiving communion to being in a small room for twelve people at a specific time of year. We've taken the circumstances and used Scripture to re-enforce the best possible way to receive the elements that nourish our souls as Christ appointed them too. Nowhere in Acts do we see Luke saying, "worship together in this way."
I understand that I'm delving into a very large pool of subject matter on which much has been said, written, and understood by men and women far more intelligent and understanding than I, however, my point is this; we need to look at the passage in Acts 2 as a reference point of something that is good, but not something that is ultimate. Trying to recreate the Acts 2 church isn't going to solve your problems. However, living lives of communal worship and making habits of living daily for one another and dying to self at any cost, that will change your life and cause you to re-evaluate what problems you might have.
I think the American Evangelical church desires at its core to create a community of interdependent Christians, but is so consumed in its consumerism and blatant autonomy that it can't see how lost it is. Any time there is a discussion about the body of believers being more important than the individual I am always reminded that this is the perspective of the Catholic church. They teach this very heavily and as a result, those who properly understand the Catholic faith live lives that reflect this important truth and it becomes apparent to all who know them because the choices they make are interdependently oriented.
So how shall we then live? In light of all of this, I think it's important that we foster habits of selflessness. We need to become more aware of how truly selfish and prideful we are. Similarly, we need to be willing to be vulnerable with one another. If we can't trust other Christian brothers and sisters, then we can't trust anyone. (If you want a practical example of what that life looks like you need look no further than the devastation that exists within many of the communities in Brazil.) Removing our pride, becoming vulnerable to one another, and pursuing lives of service to one another, to the greater body of believers and non-believers, and in so doing, serving Christ, this is what ought to be ultimate in our lives.
These are ideas that have been mustering around in my head for quite a while, and I'd be very open to feedback and questions and observations that anyone might have. Thank you all for reading and I hope this was edifying and challenging to you.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
My How My Perspective Has Changed
I haven't had a chance to write in a little while but because I am fortunate enough to be in the middle of two days off in a row, I'm finding myself with a little bit of time to do the things that I really enjoy without feeling rushed to run out the door to work. I've actually started a number of posts and haven't shared them because they've been too much ranting about how much I wasn't enjoying Texas and my negative observations about a group of people that I really haven't had enough experience with in order to make a clear judgment either way. One thing I do know however, that has not changed, is that I miss the cold, I miss the fall, and I need water!
I've always had a draw towards lakes, the ocean, any body of water really and now, living in San Antonio I feel that draw more than ever. I hope that my next stop will take me to either the East or West Coast of the Unites States, but that still remains to be seen whether or not that will actually happen.
Today however, I don't want to talk about Texas but rather about how my perspective on social situations has changed. Being an intrinsically extroverted person, I've never struggled in my adult life in social situations. But I realized recently that the way in which I now make friends, acquaintances, and network with people has changed drastically. In high school and college, making friends was merely a matter of becoming comfortable with people that I was already surrounded by on a daily basis and just drumming up enough courage to say, "Hi! What do you like to do?" Eventually, good friends were made and the details of how we met or became friends became unimportant in comparison to the gratitude that we all hold for each other in being friends.
But real life doesn't afford the same circumstances. I almost find that to be sad, but in truth it's realistic. I have to work harder at making friends and establishing good relationships with people and it takes a lot longer simply due to the fact that we all have real jobs and other obligations.
I used to hold to the idea that I could become very close friends with someone in a matter of spending 6 hours with them depending on the sort of connection established in that time. What I have come to learn especially in the past couple years, is that my truest friends are the ones who know my life outside of the circumstances that brought us together in the first place. Simply because we went to college together and share similar values doesn't mean that we are very close even though we are friends. I remember in high school I had a friend who I invited into every aspect of my life and now when we see each other she understands much better than most the full extent of what I'm talking about. Today, it's very rare for me to have such a friend. Even when talking to my best friends in the world, I will surprise them by saying I'm jetting off somewhere around the country to go visit someone they've never heard me mention before.
The argument could be made that if I hadn't mentioned them before, then they must not be very important to me, if my "best friends" have never heard of them before. However, I don't think that's true at all, particularly for me. Even though I do have many friends who I treasure and value deeply, many of them never meet each other. I don't really have "groups" of friends. I have friends, who sometimes gather into a group, but they are not a group of friends. What I mean by this is simply that I establish a connection with individuals, not groups of people. It's remarkable actually. I can connect with two people on an individual basis and when those two people come together in a social situation with me, I literally don't know what to do. I relate to each person in their own way, and so trying to connect two people together who don't know each other in the way that I know them causes me great frustration and ultimately to shut down socially. It's only when the two people know me well enough to know that this is what's going on and say, "Ben, it's ok. Just do what you want to do," that I finally feel free to establish a new level of connection between the three of us.
It's so strange. But I honestly believe it's a gift. It's also one of my largest motivations for considering getting my masters in Christian Counseling. I connect with people at the individual level because I desire naturally to invest in them and help them to improve. Even professionally speaking I do the same thing. I make friends at work and I desire to see them improve their lives. I try to motivate them to challenge themselves to do better and hope they are grateful for the challenge and don't hold it against me.
Ultimately, it has everything to do with Christ. I want to challenge people to get beyond themselves and see Christ. We all have barriers that block and inhibit our ability to see this world through the lens of Christ and I hope that perhaps Christ might use me as He has used others in my life to help me see through His lens as an instrument for His glory. We all have a mission while we are here on Earth. I believe that the mission that God has given me is to connect with people and I pray that through my relationship with them they might turn more towards Christ in prayer and thanksgiving in all things.
If I could accomplish this with just one person, then I know that my life will have been worth it. I have no desire to change the lives of thousands through great speeches and millions of dollars. But if I am privileged enough one day to hear the words of my own child say, "I am the person I am today in Christ because of my father" that will be enough for me. The impact that one person can make in terms of the community of believers, to me, is one of the most beautiful aspects of life.
There is much more that could be said on the subject, but for now I will leave you with this. Although my mode d'emploi of making friends has changed, the goal has remained consistent. To consistently seek to bless others and draw them closer to Christ in all things is all I can hope to achieve in this life. That's who I am, and who I believe God made me to be.
That's what I got for now. I hope this wasn't too tedious and thanks for sticking with me to the end. Have a great day! Ciao for now!
I've always had a draw towards lakes, the ocean, any body of water really and now, living in San Antonio I feel that draw more than ever. I hope that my next stop will take me to either the East or West Coast of the Unites States, but that still remains to be seen whether or not that will actually happen.
Today however, I don't want to talk about Texas but rather about how my perspective on social situations has changed. Being an intrinsically extroverted person, I've never struggled in my adult life in social situations. But I realized recently that the way in which I now make friends, acquaintances, and network with people has changed drastically. In high school and college, making friends was merely a matter of becoming comfortable with people that I was already surrounded by on a daily basis and just drumming up enough courage to say, "Hi! What do you like to do?" Eventually, good friends were made and the details of how we met or became friends became unimportant in comparison to the gratitude that we all hold for each other in being friends.
But real life doesn't afford the same circumstances. I almost find that to be sad, but in truth it's realistic. I have to work harder at making friends and establishing good relationships with people and it takes a lot longer simply due to the fact that we all have real jobs and other obligations.
I used to hold to the idea that I could become very close friends with someone in a matter of spending 6 hours with them depending on the sort of connection established in that time. What I have come to learn especially in the past couple years, is that my truest friends are the ones who know my life outside of the circumstances that brought us together in the first place. Simply because we went to college together and share similar values doesn't mean that we are very close even though we are friends. I remember in high school I had a friend who I invited into every aspect of my life and now when we see each other she understands much better than most the full extent of what I'm talking about. Today, it's very rare for me to have such a friend. Even when talking to my best friends in the world, I will surprise them by saying I'm jetting off somewhere around the country to go visit someone they've never heard me mention before.
The argument could be made that if I hadn't mentioned them before, then they must not be very important to me, if my "best friends" have never heard of them before. However, I don't think that's true at all, particularly for me. Even though I do have many friends who I treasure and value deeply, many of them never meet each other. I don't really have "groups" of friends. I have friends, who sometimes gather into a group, but they are not a group of friends. What I mean by this is simply that I establish a connection with individuals, not groups of people. It's remarkable actually. I can connect with two people on an individual basis and when those two people come together in a social situation with me, I literally don't know what to do. I relate to each person in their own way, and so trying to connect two people together who don't know each other in the way that I know them causes me great frustration and ultimately to shut down socially. It's only when the two people know me well enough to know that this is what's going on and say, "Ben, it's ok. Just do what you want to do," that I finally feel free to establish a new level of connection between the three of us.
It's so strange. But I honestly believe it's a gift. It's also one of my largest motivations for considering getting my masters in Christian Counseling. I connect with people at the individual level because I desire naturally to invest in them and help them to improve. Even professionally speaking I do the same thing. I make friends at work and I desire to see them improve their lives. I try to motivate them to challenge themselves to do better and hope they are grateful for the challenge and don't hold it against me.
Ultimately, it has everything to do with Christ. I want to challenge people to get beyond themselves and see Christ. We all have barriers that block and inhibit our ability to see this world through the lens of Christ and I hope that perhaps Christ might use me as He has used others in my life to help me see through His lens as an instrument for His glory. We all have a mission while we are here on Earth. I believe that the mission that God has given me is to connect with people and I pray that through my relationship with them they might turn more towards Christ in prayer and thanksgiving in all things.
If I could accomplish this with just one person, then I know that my life will have been worth it. I have no desire to change the lives of thousands through great speeches and millions of dollars. But if I am privileged enough one day to hear the words of my own child say, "I am the person I am today in Christ because of my father" that will be enough for me. The impact that one person can make in terms of the community of believers, to me, is one of the most beautiful aspects of life.
There is much more that could be said on the subject, but for now I will leave you with this. Although my mode d'emploi of making friends has changed, the goal has remained consistent. To consistently seek to bless others and draw them closer to Christ in all things is all I can hope to achieve in this life. That's who I am, and who I believe God made me to be.
That's what I got for now. I hope this wasn't too tedious and thanks for sticking with me to the end. Have a great day! Ciao for now!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
When Bad Things Happen To Good People
This Sunday morning I woke up to my alarm clock telling me it was time to get into the shower in order to get to church on time. Upon opening my eyes I noticed that for the first time since I moved to Texas it was pouring rain outside my window. The other day it had rained for most of the evening, however by the morning the rain had stopped and people were able to pretend like the wet stuff had never touched the ground. However, this morning my window was stained with water marks streaking down the glass and it made me feel like I was at home. My fan had been blowing all night and giving me the morning chill I love so much. The one where all you have to do is readjust your position under your blanket and suddenly a burst of warmth you didn't realize was there encapsulates your being and makes it that much more difficult to get out of bed.
After hitting the snooze button a couple times and debating how to move forward with this Sunday morning, I finally got out of bed and made my cup of coffee and decided that rather than going to church this morning, I would spend my time this Sunday by myself listening to a sermon by Tim Keller. My wonderful father, before I left on my road trip down here to Texas gave me an iPod full of sermons by Tim Keller and highly recommended a few of the sermon series that he placed on there.
I listened to a couple of the sermons on my way down and since then have even spent some of my quieter mornings just sipping my coffee and listening to one of these sermons as well. Generally speaking, I'm pretty active in terms of my devotional ritual. On Sunday mornings I like to go to church for Sunday School, then the actual service, and then stay for lunch and talk to people about the sermon before having to go to work. Even in my daily devotional ritual I usually spend at least an hour reading and writing about the book of Acts. (For those who don't know, I've been working on and off for the past two years on a personal commentary on the book of Acts.)
Every once in a while though, usually after a pretty exhausting couple of days, I can't seem to cope with the idea of focusing in on worshiping God in my usual determined, goal oriented way. And on those days I take comfort in knowing that God does not require of me to worship Him in the same way every day. And so this morning I decided to simply relax and listen to a Tim Keller sermon from his series on Repentance.
What's funny to me is that at times I feel like my experience as a Christian and my father's experience as a Christian are so different that there is almost no way we could both find the same pastor to be so edifying. And yet, low and behold, here I am writing about how clear and easy to understand Tim Keller is, while at the same time retaining his dedication to a biblical exegesis of Scripture. Although he is preaching to a congregation in the heart of NYC, his words expand to all who call upon Christ as their Lord and Savior. He has a tremendous gift for understanding that in our 21st century culture we are so bogged down by false pre-suppositions and poor nomenclature, that all understanding of truth has been distorted to the point where we have millions of people in the USA who have no idea what life is all about and how to live it. This is not solely an American problem, however, it is one that must be tackled and I think Tim Keller does an amazing job of not only tackling it, but doing so efficiently and with clarity.
In his sermon on repentance this morning this morning he makes a statement that struck me for a few different reasons and it is on this point that I would like to continue. He says, when something bad happens to people, i.e. a tower falls over in Siloam and 18 people are killed, the question asked by people either consciously or sub-consciously is, "Why did that happen to those people and not others or me?" "Were those people greater sinners/worse people than me that they deserved to die and I do not?"
The response that Tim Keller has to this question is remarkable because it is so backward thinking from what we are used to today, because in truth the idea is so prosaic, that we've forgotten its truth.
The question isn't "Why do bad things happen to good people?" But rather, "Why don't bad things happen more often?" Meaning, why does God spare us from calamity rather than allow us to be killed in the tower in Siloam? The pre-supposition that Dr. Keller accurately points out that most Christians today hold to is that somehow God owes us a comfortable life. Somehow, somewhere in the course of history, we got it into our heads that we deserve good things to happen to us. When in reality, if you are a Christian and you understand the radical destructive nature of sin, then you understand that you need an even more radically powerful Savior with the power to break you of your addiction to sin and turn your feet towards the path of righteousness.
We do not deserve a comfortable life. By no means. We have done nothing to deserve it, and yet the statement, "When Bad Things Happen To Good People" would imply that we deserve good things to happen to us, that God somehow owes us a good life. But the reality is that it is God's grace that spares us from calamity and suffering. We deserve to suffer because we are sinners. We do not deserve God's grace, and yet we are so fundamentally self-centered and sinful that we have totally forgotten that all that we have comes from God's hand, and nothing we have done enables us to say, "I deserve these good things."
And yet we act like that! We say in our hearts, "I've worked so hard for these good things to happen to me." But there is no satisfaction in that. There is no joy in that. What Tim Keller tells us is that repentance is a necessary doctrine for all times in our lives. When we are sad we repent. When we are happy we repent. When we are mad we repent. We need to always be repenting. And not in a sense of, "I feel guilty and God needs to forgive me because I did something wrong." But in the truest sense of repentance where we recognize how unworthy we are of the good things that God has given us, and how lucky and grateful we should be to know that we have a Savior in Jesus Christ who intercedes on our behalf to the Father that we might live. True repentance, as Tim Keller puts it, comes when you recognize how truly terrible and unworthy you are, and at the same time how perfectly loved and received you are into Christ's Kingdom as a result of His shed blood on the Cross.
"You are more evil than you could ever imagine and at the same time, you are more loved than you could ever know." This is the amazing tension of Christianity that ought to cause us to be continually repenting. It's this worldview and framework that reveals to us the true nature of our relationship to Christ and how desperately we need Him. I hope you find this encouraging Reader. I encourage you to find this sermon series and be blessed by it, just as I have on a lazy, rainy Sunday morning.
That's all for now. Ciao and God Bless!
After hitting the snooze button a couple times and debating how to move forward with this Sunday morning, I finally got out of bed and made my cup of coffee and decided that rather than going to church this morning, I would spend my time this Sunday by myself listening to a sermon by Tim Keller. My wonderful father, before I left on my road trip down here to Texas gave me an iPod full of sermons by Tim Keller and highly recommended a few of the sermon series that he placed on there.
I listened to a couple of the sermons on my way down and since then have even spent some of my quieter mornings just sipping my coffee and listening to one of these sermons as well. Generally speaking, I'm pretty active in terms of my devotional ritual. On Sunday mornings I like to go to church for Sunday School, then the actual service, and then stay for lunch and talk to people about the sermon before having to go to work. Even in my daily devotional ritual I usually spend at least an hour reading and writing about the book of Acts. (For those who don't know, I've been working on and off for the past two years on a personal commentary on the book of Acts.)
Every once in a while though, usually after a pretty exhausting couple of days, I can't seem to cope with the idea of focusing in on worshiping God in my usual determined, goal oriented way. And on those days I take comfort in knowing that God does not require of me to worship Him in the same way every day. And so this morning I decided to simply relax and listen to a Tim Keller sermon from his series on Repentance.
What's funny to me is that at times I feel like my experience as a Christian and my father's experience as a Christian are so different that there is almost no way we could both find the same pastor to be so edifying. And yet, low and behold, here I am writing about how clear and easy to understand Tim Keller is, while at the same time retaining his dedication to a biblical exegesis of Scripture. Although he is preaching to a congregation in the heart of NYC, his words expand to all who call upon Christ as their Lord and Savior. He has a tremendous gift for understanding that in our 21st century culture we are so bogged down by false pre-suppositions and poor nomenclature, that all understanding of truth has been distorted to the point where we have millions of people in the USA who have no idea what life is all about and how to live it. This is not solely an American problem, however, it is one that must be tackled and I think Tim Keller does an amazing job of not only tackling it, but doing so efficiently and with clarity.
In his sermon on repentance this morning this morning he makes a statement that struck me for a few different reasons and it is on this point that I would like to continue. He says, when something bad happens to people, i.e. a tower falls over in Siloam and 18 people are killed, the question asked by people either consciously or sub-consciously is, "Why did that happen to those people and not others or me?" "Were those people greater sinners/worse people than me that they deserved to die and I do not?"
The response that Tim Keller has to this question is remarkable because it is so backward thinking from what we are used to today, because in truth the idea is so prosaic, that we've forgotten its truth.
The question isn't "Why do bad things happen to good people?" But rather, "Why don't bad things happen more often?" Meaning, why does God spare us from calamity rather than allow us to be killed in the tower in Siloam? The pre-supposition that Dr. Keller accurately points out that most Christians today hold to is that somehow God owes us a comfortable life. Somehow, somewhere in the course of history, we got it into our heads that we deserve good things to happen to us. When in reality, if you are a Christian and you understand the radical destructive nature of sin, then you understand that you need an even more radically powerful Savior with the power to break you of your addiction to sin and turn your feet towards the path of righteousness.
We do not deserve a comfortable life. By no means. We have done nothing to deserve it, and yet the statement, "When Bad Things Happen To Good People" would imply that we deserve good things to happen to us, that God somehow owes us a good life. But the reality is that it is God's grace that spares us from calamity and suffering. We deserve to suffer because we are sinners. We do not deserve God's grace, and yet we are so fundamentally self-centered and sinful that we have totally forgotten that all that we have comes from God's hand, and nothing we have done enables us to say, "I deserve these good things."
And yet we act like that! We say in our hearts, "I've worked so hard for these good things to happen to me." But there is no satisfaction in that. There is no joy in that. What Tim Keller tells us is that repentance is a necessary doctrine for all times in our lives. When we are sad we repent. When we are happy we repent. When we are mad we repent. We need to always be repenting. And not in a sense of, "I feel guilty and God needs to forgive me because I did something wrong." But in the truest sense of repentance where we recognize how unworthy we are of the good things that God has given us, and how lucky and grateful we should be to know that we have a Savior in Jesus Christ who intercedes on our behalf to the Father that we might live. True repentance, as Tim Keller puts it, comes when you recognize how truly terrible and unworthy you are, and at the same time how perfectly loved and received you are into Christ's Kingdom as a result of His shed blood on the Cross.
"You are more evil than you could ever imagine and at the same time, you are more loved than you could ever know." This is the amazing tension of Christianity that ought to cause us to be continually repenting. It's this worldview and framework that reveals to us the true nature of our relationship to Christ and how desperately we need Him. I hope you find this encouraging Reader. I encourage you to find this sermon series and be blessed by it, just as I have on a lazy, rainy Sunday morning.
That's all for now. Ciao and God Bless!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Hilary Hahn and Bach
This evening, as I sometimes do, I began browsing around some of my favorite musicians websites. This search naturally took me towards the website of Ms. Hilary Hahn. I have written before of her playing and albums. Her Higdon and Tchaikovsky album I critiqued on my other blog while I was living in Europe almost 18 months ago. I enjoyed the album and actually my appreciation for it has grown over time, as all fine quality music does. Miss Hahn will be releasing a new album in the coming months of 27 new encores written for solo violin. It's a very exciting project and I am excited to see what comes of it, considering her talent and ability to interpret a composers wishes so precisely.
What surprised me this evening, however, was to look at her discography and see that her very first album that she released fifteen years ago in 1997 were the complete Bach sonatas and partitas. A bold task for any musician, especially one of her age. Yet her interpretation of the infamous Bach Chaconne has become the standard recording for many violinists today. What I am asking myself today, however, is how her interpretation would sound different today. If I have one critique of Miss Hahn, it is that her sound is very consistent and sometimes lacks excitement. Balance and consistency is key to the playing of Bach, which is why her interpretations are so stellar. However, with those strengths being so accentuated in all of her playing i wonder if perhaps her interpretation today wouldn't be exactly the same as it was 15 years ago. Of course there would be definite maturation of sound, perhaps slight differences in articulation. But overall I picture no great difference.
For an artist with her depth and understanding of music, it surprises me that her tone is as consistent as it is. She established such a mature sound at such a young age, I almost believe that she plateaued with that first recording. Her interpretations of modern works are so clean and precise that she champions whatever is presented in front of her with such perfection that the works almost seem to daunting to attempt afterwards.
However, the classcs are open to such wide variety of interpretation that I honestly prefer many other violinists recordings to hers for many of the classic concertos such as the Mendelssohn, Beethoven, and Tchaikovsky.
I don't mean to be unnecessarily critical, but I believe that artists have a responsibility to branch out and try new things. I believe that Hahn has done an outstanding job of inspiring new compositions from multiple different composers and exposing the public to new works they might not otherwise listen to, I simply desire to see more pain and passion within her playing and not so much arithmetic.
These are the thoughts of a violinist on a Monday night. Who knows what the rest of the week might hold. Have a wonderful evening. Bye for now!
What surprised me this evening, however, was to look at her discography and see that her very first album that she released fifteen years ago in 1997 were the complete Bach sonatas and partitas. A bold task for any musician, especially one of her age. Yet her interpretation of the infamous Bach Chaconne has become the standard recording for many violinists today. What I am asking myself today, however, is how her interpretation would sound different today. If I have one critique of Miss Hahn, it is that her sound is very consistent and sometimes lacks excitement. Balance and consistency is key to the playing of Bach, which is why her interpretations are so stellar. However, with those strengths being so accentuated in all of her playing i wonder if perhaps her interpretation today wouldn't be exactly the same as it was 15 years ago. Of course there would be definite maturation of sound, perhaps slight differences in articulation. But overall I picture no great difference.
For an artist with her depth and understanding of music, it surprises me that her tone is as consistent as it is. She established such a mature sound at such a young age, I almost believe that she plateaued with that first recording. Her interpretations of modern works are so clean and precise that she champions whatever is presented in front of her with such perfection that the works almost seem to daunting to attempt afterwards.
However, the classcs are open to such wide variety of interpretation that I honestly prefer many other violinists recordings to hers for many of the classic concertos such as the Mendelssohn, Beethoven, and Tchaikovsky.
I don't mean to be unnecessarily critical, but I believe that artists have a responsibility to branch out and try new things. I believe that Hahn has done an outstanding job of inspiring new compositions from multiple different composers and exposing the public to new works they might not otherwise listen to, I simply desire to see more pain and passion within her playing and not so much arithmetic.
These are the thoughts of a violinist on a Monday night. Who knows what the rest of the week might hold. Have a wonderful evening. Bye for now!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Age of Not Believing
The title of this post comes from one of my favorite childhood movies, Bed Knobs and Broomsticks. And yet nothing further in this post will have anything to do with said favorite childhood film. What am I not believing you ask? Or perhaps, better yet, who is not believing? Well let me tell you! Everyone! That's who! Allow me to elaborate before you become altogether too confused and bored to continue reading.
I'm 23. Almost 24. College graduate. Recently employed. What does this mean professionally speaking? Absolutely nothing. The fact is that although I am no longer a college student and am seeking to establish myself professionally, no one professional actually takes me seriously because I'm 23, almost 24, and a recent college graduate. I have come to realize that I am stuck, yet again, in a period of life in which only certain people can identify with me. Maybe that's all life is. Maybe it's the reason why old people only hang out with old people. Or parents only hang out with other parents. I suppose it makes sense. But at the same time. I'm still miffed. I don't look at old people and think, "I can't identify with you do to your ridiculously large age." I seek to learn from anyone that will take the time to sit down and talk to me about what's going on in their own life and the questions they are asking.
I'm frustrated because I enjoyed college, but I am grateful that it is over. It was fun. I learned a lot, I practiced violin more than I ever thought I would, and now, I am working at a restaurant and hardly practicing violin at all, desperately trying to keep up both my French and German skills, and deciphering between grad school and seminary in France. All that aside, I think simply having the respect of other young professionals would aide me in my decision making process.
It really comes down to community. While at Hillsdale I had a great community of like-minded friends and believers who encouraged me and challenged me daily. Nowadays, I have to actively seek out anyone my age that lives near me and pray that they understand only a small portion of where my life is and can offer me at least some moral support.
Here's the thing. I had a great night tonight. I served Mayor Dave Bing and made a decent amount of money. I was able to get out of work a little after 10pm, which is shocking, and will hopefully be able to get a full night's sleep tonight to rest me to be able to work a double tomorrow.
But I had no one to share that with, besides you, dear reader, and look how faithful to you I have been. No one I could call and share my little victory with. Life simply continues, and no one knows the difference. I suppose perhaps I am simply saying, "Hey! Someone pay attention to me!" But I think it's more than that. I believe that life brings us various trials with the different stages that we go through as well, and I think this sentiment of loneliness is one of the greatest trials that I am dealing with at the moment. I know it's not forever. (Praise the Lord!) But the difficulty and question remains? How do I go forward? What is supposed to propel me forward into whatever stage might be next? These are the questions I am asking and seeking answers for. If you have any, let me know. Also, if you know of anyone who is around 23-30,Christian, and wants to live in the metro Detroit area, let me know, cause it would be great to get a roommate and move out of my parents house. And I know they would appreciate it too.
That is all for now. I will try to be more consistent in the future. We'll have to see if I am fortunate enough to be blessed with more evenings like this in the future. Ciao Ciao!
I'm 23. Almost 24. College graduate. Recently employed. What does this mean professionally speaking? Absolutely nothing. The fact is that although I am no longer a college student and am seeking to establish myself professionally, no one professional actually takes me seriously because I'm 23, almost 24, and a recent college graduate. I have come to realize that I am stuck, yet again, in a period of life in which only certain people can identify with me. Maybe that's all life is. Maybe it's the reason why old people only hang out with old people. Or parents only hang out with other parents. I suppose it makes sense. But at the same time. I'm still miffed. I don't look at old people and think, "I can't identify with you do to your ridiculously large age." I seek to learn from anyone that will take the time to sit down and talk to me about what's going on in their own life and the questions they are asking.
I'm frustrated because I enjoyed college, but I am grateful that it is over. It was fun. I learned a lot, I practiced violin more than I ever thought I would, and now, I am working at a restaurant and hardly practicing violin at all, desperately trying to keep up both my French and German skills, and deciphering between grad school and seminary in France. All that aside, I think simply having the respect of other young professionals would aide me in my decision making process.
It really comes down to community. While at Hillsdale I had a great community of like-minded friends and believers who encouraged me and challenged me daily. Nowadays, I have to actively seek out anyone my age that lives near me and pray that they understand only a small portion of where my life is and can offer me at least some moral support.
Here's the thing. I had a great night tonight. I served Mayor Dave Bing and made a decent amount of money. I was able to get out of work a little after 10pm, which is shocking, and will hopefully be able to get a full night's sleep tonight to rest me to be able to work a double tomorrow.
But I had no one to share that with, besides you, dear reader, and look how faithful to you I have been. No one I could call and share my little victory with. Life simply continues, and no one knows the difference. I suppose perhaps I am simply saying, "Hey! Someone pay attention to me!" But I think it's more than that. I believe that life brings us various trials with the different stages that we go through as well, and I think this sentiment of loneliness is one of the greatest trials that I am dealing with at the moment. I know it's not forever. (Praise the Lord!) But the difficulty and question remains? How do I go forward? What is supposed to propel me forward into whatever stage might be next? These are the questions I am asking and seeking answers for. If you have any, let me know. Also, if you know of anyone who is around 23-30,Christian, and wants to live in the metro Detroit area, let me know, cause it would be great to get a roommate and move out of my parents house. And I know they would appreciate it too.
That is all for now. I will try to be more consistent in the future. We'll have to see if I am fortunate enough to be blessed with more evenings like this in the future. Ciao Ciao!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
The Warring of Desire
Two Sides:
The side of faith, trust, obedience to law, of eyes gazing upward, of thoughts extending beyond the present towards an eternity totally unknown to the faithless.
The side of emotion, letting go, obedience to myself, of eyes gazing inward, of thoughts grounded in the moment being totally validated by a culture of lost souls.
Each and every one of us upon reading these words can identify in some way or another.
Those who are not saved will not understand what I am referring to because for you, only one side exists. If any of those words in the first side spoke to you and you do not know Jesus Christ as your Savior, then be glad because that means the Holy Spirit has already begun to work within you.
However, if the second side is how you perceive your reality, then I pray that you will find Jesus soon for it will only lead you toward loss and suffering greater than anything you might be able to imagine.
Two Sides: God’s side or Man’s side. You choose! Paul put it this way in Romans:
Romans 7:18-25 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God--through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.
As a Christian I struggle with doubt and fear as a direct result of this warring in my soul. The question of What If remains at the forefront of my mind at all times until I receive a momentary distraction through television, conversation, food, and any other good gift that God has given me that I have abused to satisfy my own cravings and fears.
Fear.
Am I afraid or do I fear? You know what’s interesting about being afraid and fearing something. One is an action verb and the other is a state of being. Puts fear into perspective doesn’t it? You have a choice. You can choose to give in to fear. Sometimes we don’t even know what we are giving into and we do it naturally because we don’t know any better. Man, that sucks! Wouldn’t it be nice if when we responded to something out of a gut instinct it would be the “right” reaction? Sadly, sin has crept itself into even the very core of our instincts so that we respond against God instead of for Him.
So what do we do? Learn from Paul and Praise the Lord that He has forgiven those sinful instincts and given us the opportunity through the Holy Spirit to learn from our sins and turn ourselves towards Christ and His grace.
You want to know what fear looks like. Something like this:
Have you ever asked yourself the question What if? What if I had taken a different job? What if I had married someone else? What if I had been born in a different family? What if I was born in a different country? Who would I be? Why am I who I am today?
What if every decision that we make has a consequence? What if those consequences are real? What if with every word that we speak we are shaping ourselves and others? What if I never got the chance to speak to that person again? What if all of these questions are wrong? What if there are no consequences? What if there is no reason?
Do you know what the common thread between each of these questions is? Doubt and Fear.
I find the insurance industry utterly fascinating because it works off of one pre-supposition: What If? All around the world millions of people have purchased insurance just in case. Someone a very long time ago suggested the idea of insurance and in so doing created not only an extremely marketable business model, but also entrapped us all into paying thousands of dollars every year out of fear. Is insurance good? I would venture to say no. Is insurance necessary? Today, I would sadly say yes.
I ask myself every single day What If? Why me? Why this?
Why has God made me the person that I am and not something else? Why have I experienced the things that I have and not others? Why has God structured my life in such a way so that I do certain things but not others?
I have seen specific events occur in my life that have drastically shaped who I am and I know what the opposite result would have been had those events not occurred. What does that mean? It means there are two sides and my life reflects of the side that I have chosen most often. Does that mean I have always chosen God’s side? By no means! But in terms of the large scale scope of events in my life, I have turned away from giving into my natural desires for doing the harder thing more often than not.
And yet.
These two words haunt me through film and music every day. Why you ask? Because every time I see a movie or hear a song that talks about giving into those desires, expressing who you are, being true to yourself, and living with no regrets, I fall victim to the onslaught of the other side and ask myself, “is it really worth it?” Is it worth it to choose God’s side and not my own?
Honestly, if I were not a Christian, I would probably have pursued going to college at a secular institution like U of M and would probably be seeking to make a career or something like it on Broadway. The instinct to sing and dance at all times is a very natural one to me. The idea of expressing the human experience through voice, instruments, dance, and all other forms of artistic expression is one of the most natural and understandable things in the entire world to me.
I might be the least scientific person in the entire world. I got a C- in Bio 1-0-Stupid. But the idea of expressing one’s self through some sort of physical action is almost more natural to me than breathing.
I look back on my life and I see how the college that I chose truly shaped who I am today in such an incredible way. Similarly, I also see how my grandfather’s death when I was 11 and the depression that lasted for 3 years afterwards also tremendously affected me.
Why do I play the violin? Why do I speak French? Why do I love pizza so much? Did god really have all of these things in mind for me? In my mind I know the answer is yes. And yet, (there are those damned words again) in my heart I know I question it. It is in my heart that my questions and doubts and fears lie. Not in my mind. The heart is the fountain of all things deceitful to me.
Trying to give it away is the most arduous and difficult thing for me to do. I desire in my mind and in a portion of my heart to give my heart in love to God. to fall in love with my Savior day after day and rest in His arms of grace that protect and guide me until the day when I will be called into His kingdom and will enter with tears of complete and utter joy as all of the burdens of this life and warring of my soul has ended. When God’s side will have won and Man’s side will have lost. Where the Creator retains forever that which He has created.
But until that day comes I will continue to war. The warring in my heart and soul and mind will continue day after day. I will doubt. I know I will. I will sin. I know I will. But, (perhaps some have argued is the greatest word in the Bible) I will not change sides. My choice has been made. There is no turning back. I will want to turn back and in the process of always changing direction might become dizzy, but Praise the Lord that His Holy Spirit it right there to stop me from spinning to refocus my thoughts, attitudes, and actions towards Christ again.
Lord, I pray. Do a good work in me. Not for my sake, but for Your Name. That name that is above all other names: Jesus Christ. Amen!
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