Let's talk about "The Plan."
Originally my plan had been to write frequently on this blog about my love of music, wine, food, and occasional observations about working in the food service industry. That plan hasn't panned out quite as I had intended.
Intended though. Has anything in our lives truly been accomplished as we "intended" it? I intended to graduate from Hillsdale College in the spring of 2010 with a music major in violin performance. That did happen....sort of. Although I had finished my music major by graduation what I had not intended when I began my degree in the fall of 2006 was to add a French major and a German minor. In fact, learning both French and German were at the very bottom of my priorities list. The only reason I actually took French in the first place is because of my inane desire to be a non-conformist and NOT take Spanish like everyone else, and I couldn't stand the sound of German.
Now look at me. Looks at where my intentions got me. Not only taking both French and German but giving up on a career as a violinist all together (as occupation not avocation) and reminiscing on 6 months passed in Europe just this time last year. So what does this tell me? The obvious answer is that we are not in control. Solomon says it best. Proverbs 16:9 "A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps."
In other words, each of us has intentions about where our lives will go and where we desire for it to go, but ultimately it is the Lord who governs our paths. Here's the interesting part to me. Whenever I make a plan, I stick to it as if my life depended on it. A bullheadedness that I am sure I got passed down genetically from one of my parents. When I put my mind to something it becomes my overarching goal in all of my actions. Even now, in writing this I am trying to better understand my goals through processing them in words.
And yet, as I consider the plans that I have made in my life for where I wanted it to be and where I would like to see it go, I can safely say, I have no idea.
Seriously. Do I still have desires for what I would like to accomplish? Of course! Have I lapsed into some sort of apathy? By no means! Rather, I am beginning to understand "The Plan."
I have either heard or heard two or three sermons references in the past week that each made the same point. Each used different words but the truth is the same: There is no Plan B.
When discussing the issue of The Fall and sin and why God allowed Adam and Eve to sin many theories over the centuries have developed. But each of the false ones fall short in one critical arena. They all assume that God screwed up and had to make a new plan that involved Jesus dying on the cross. We were made perfect and we were intended to be perfect for all of eternity, and then something slipped up and either man plunged us into sin, or God allowed us to be plunged therein. Either way, both of these presuppositions assume that God is NOT sovereign and that He somehow adjusted His plan after man sinned.
But that is simply not true. There was never a Plan B. It was, is, and always will be Plan A!
This is not only comforting theologically, but practically as well. Something I am learning most Reformed believers struggle at grasping. I don't mean to criticize, but as a child of the Reformed tradition I have seen in how many ways my fellow Reformed brothers and sisters fail to live out practically the truths we theologically understand. We turn everything into a theological test and as long as we have an answer that retains our apologetic, we are satisfied. For all intensive purposes, we allow our theological understanding to turn us into Super-Calvinists. Although we don't believe that to be true, our actions would speak to the contrary.
What I have seen, however, is many non-Reformed believers who actively pursue holiness and imitation of Christ on a practical and humble level every day of their lives in a way that I have never seen in the Reformed community. I have been both humbled and convicted by these faithful witnesses of Christ as they demonstrate in thought, word, and deed how Christ has changed them forever and there is no turning back.
I believe that part of my obsession with the plan comes from my Reformed upbringing. Some Reformed believers use having a bullet-proof apologetic as a means to appear as if they are in control. That they have a knowledge that will ultimately protect them from the uncertainties of life and the struggles of faith that each person will go through in this life. We allow our answers to every questions keep us from turning to God in true faith because our faith is found in words and logical conclusions, not a heart that is humbly and fearfully clinging to the Cross of Christ.
This has also been how I have looked at the plan of my life. Whenever I hear someone say, "I have no idea what I am doing, and I am ok with that." Although not my first reaction, upon further thought, I realize that I am saying to myself, "Wow! I'm glad I'm not that guy."
What a sick and prideful response. I must be a sinner or something? But it's true. I do think in those terms because I fear not having a plan. I fear not knowing the direction of my life or where God is leading me. Of course this doesn't mean that I sit around and simply pray saying,"God give me direction." And then just wait for an answer. It doesn't work that way. Neither does it always go according to the plan that we believe God has laid out for us.
We can't just sit around and we can't spontaneously just jump into new life changing circumstances either. We must ask for counsel, prayerfully consider the consequences of the potential change, but most importantly, move forward in faith. It's never easy stepping out in faith, and yet I have never looked back in my life and said, "Man, that step of faith was totally not worth it." It's ALWAYS worth it!
Whether not giving up on a seemingly hopeless friendship, trekking across Europe by myself, or entering a new job with no former experience, Christ has guided every step by His amazing grace!
Sometimes I forget about that. I forget the amazing grace that is constantly working within me and in which I can rest, knowing that all things work for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. But it's always there working within me, even when I don't think it is.
Seeing the big picture is an essential part of planning as well. Trying to imagine hat my life would be like in 5,10,15,20,30, or 40 years and how my actions now will affect those later years. But God calls us to think even beyond that. In one of the most incredible books I have ever read, K.P. Yohanan calls every Christian to Live in the Light of Eternity. To understand that not only do our actions reflect our futures here on Earth, but that we are called to commit ourselves to Christ's Kingdom in Eternity and that is our true purpose for living on this planet for the short period of time that we are here.
My plan has been to pursue a career in Christian Counseling by going to Westminster Theological Seminary to pursue a Masters of Divinity with an emphasis in Counseling and study under men such as Ed Welch, David Powlison, Paul Tripp, and Timothy Lane. But I don't know if that's where God is calling me. It's been sort of a safe bet for me to go to seminary for the past year or so. I thought to myself, I don't have a sense of direction, but at least I know that in Seminary I'll be glorifying God better than I am here and that must be the best thing, right? Right?
I'm now starting to think that may not be true. Maybe it was simply a defensive diversionary tactic in my mind. Playing it safe rather than taking the hard way. I still don't know.
I ask myself all the time, "Ok, God. How are you putting all of these things together?" Christian Counseling seemed logical to me. It seemed to make all of the pieces fit together in the puzzle of my life according to how I see it. But therein lies the problem. According to how I see it. The fact remains that I can't see all the pieces and I am simply trying to keep the ones that I know I have put together in some sort of cohesive state until more are revealed to me.
I like that analogy of a puzzle. It accurately depicts exactly how I try and manouvre my life. But the fact is that the puzzle will not be put together in this life. It will always be a mess of different pieces being put together in wrong places and being fixed until the day when the Puzzle Maker will put them all together exactly where they belong.
I don't know what pieces the Lord will lay in front of me next. But I do know that the pieces will all come together in eternity and that it is simply my responsibility to continue to trust in God that He is ultimately putting all of the pieces together.
I hope you all find similar peace in the plan that God has for your lives. I pray these thoughts encourage you to give up the false security of a plan conceived in your mind and give you hope and strength to cling to the plan that God has in store for you. The never changing Plan A.
